I haven't really divulged my plans to many about my moving back home (and everything that goes along with it), and I decided I needed to make it more of a reality. I told my brother. I told him I was coming home in April of 2012, that that I wanted to go to medical school and told him of all my hopes and dreams that go along with that.
What do you think his response was...
First it was, "why" and then it was, " oh I see."
What the hell? Am I missing something here? If he thinks it's a stupid idea he could even tell me I'm an idiot, and that I'll never make it, so long as it's SOMETHING!!
The same thing happened when I came home for a visit last February and told my family of my plans of going back to school (and it being in the veterinary field) and how I feel like I've finally found my calling in life.
My parents were incredibly supportive and said that anything they can do just let them know (not a surprise there). Nicholas on the other hand...he told me I shouldn't go back to school because I already went and got myself a degree and Daddy and Annete helped pay for it, so It should end there. And when I asked him what that meant, he said he wouldn't talk about it anymore because I wouldn't be happy with what he would say and I'll just get mad.
So much for having a supportive brother who communicates? When did that happen?
Maybe as he ages he's just becoming more and more like our mom. Awesome......what a shitty feeling.
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I used to get frustrated with this too until one day he explained it to me, and then I never got frustrated again. You see, you and I are dreamers, and Nicky is a realist. I don't see it as a flaw anymore as just...more of a difference. He's explained how he just doesn't think past tomorrow, his brain just doesn't work that way. While me?...my brain is CONSTANTLY living in the future, which can be a reverse stress as well sometimes. So I can see how he is frustrating when you're dreaming...but he's also the best person ever to go to when you're frustrated in the moment...because of his realism, he could always calm me down and help me see things for what they are.
ReplyDeleteAs for dreams though? RUN AFTER THEM. YOU are the one living your life. Without dreamers no one would have ever attempted the impossible and we'd probably all still be cavemen. I didn't have a lot of support with some decisions I've made, but now I'm glad I listened instead to the Spirit inside me who knew better. :)
Thanks :)
ReplyDeleteI just feel this giant fire burning inside of me...I have so many dreams and goals. And I'm much like you, once something is inside my head, I WILL do it. If I want it I will do it. I will figure out a way.
And as far as my brother is concerned...maybe you're right. But I remember a time when he and I would talk about everything under the sun -relationships, life, worried...didn't matter, if it was on out minds we'd talk about it.
I feel like something has changed; and I have a feeling that he and I are the ones that have changed....I've grown up to be in endless persuit of my dreams and adventures and he is the exact opposite....
Btw, I can't wait to hang out with you! :)